Shouldn't I compromise in that...

Jul 6, 2011 12:21 PM

I'm lost

from Jasper Chen by Jasper Chen

Fans of Ainori will know about Remi, the 21 year old girl that is lost about her feelings towards Ryou, which is the guy that likes her. She claimed previously that she wasn't lost, but at the end, Ryou was sure of his feelings, but she was still lost in her feelings and starts pondering and juggling with the pros and cons of her being with Ryou.

I guess I am someone like her. I claim to know so much about what I want, the types of people I go for, the kind of character that suits me, etc. Yet, at the end do we always get a 100% of what we want? Absolutely not.

So many things had happened over this weekend. I don't even wish to put it out for display here in my blog, as if anyone would be concerned to know except the people I know that they do.

Digging out so many issues openly to discuss - well it sounds rightful enough to be truthful to each other to talk about your real feelings to the problems affecting a relationship. Yet, unknowingly you could be causing harm to the other party when you reveal bits of your opinions to a problem, when the amount of time you had spent observing and dealing with the problem doesn't even qualify for it to be digged out openly for discussion. You start to ruin the relationship and the feelings for each other takes a turn because of the fear of compromising the other party's comfort zone if a party decides to give in to that issue.

For the issues that I am dealing with now, I don't even know if it is even qualified to be an issue at all. Even speaking to a friend, the reaction and weightage of seriousness given to that issue is different due to conviction differences. Sometimes thinking about that simple blocking issue makes me feel so dumb. Isn't it an non-issue? Shouldn't I compromise in that area so that we can carry on with this relationship?

I don't know. I'm too lost now. I even think it is too late for rescue, as what I have caused and stepped into is a feeling that has turned for the worse overnight.

I'm tired. I want this to end. Quickly. If this relationship still works out, at least I can take a break and move on in the relationship. If it does not, it is certainly an escape into fresher air.

I'm trying too hard to make this work out, and sometimes I really wonder why.